Aha

Now I got it , many things we do in life aren't really done for the reasons we claim we do them for, sometimes it's a habit we got used to , or just another showing off to impress someone we like, however sometimes we do it as a decoy we put for ourselves to hide the true reasons of our deeds behind, and in our defense we say it did no harm doing the right thing for the wrong reasons and however this could be where my tired pen can go through this isn't what I'm writing about here today actually what I'm aiming at are these deeds we keep doing without thinking why we do them ,totally unaware of their codes our minds use to motivate us to do them till when we stop and we start to miss them it's exactly the moment we know "why" we kept doing them all the past years.

So I used to do this "thing" that I thought it was all about something but it wasn't actually anything near it (what a mystery huh :P) , it was all for a simple three worded phrase saying "I still care" yeah very simple and elegant short phrase however the sad thing is it wasn't a right deed either a thing that will never get justified by its noble goal I finally figured out when I got deprived of it because the collateral damage was too much to bear.

So I'll let it all go in peace once and for all, a pass I'm giving to everyone and everything got involved in this deed because I know I was always flipping the pages of the other half of the story and this puts me in a place where I really can't judge anyone from, I forgive everyone starting with myself, and goodness it's so sweet when you are finally letting go, very relieved that again you can sleep the moment you close your eyes. What a bless I've been missing.

see you :)