Living With a Deformity

An endless heritage of western lifestyle was deposited in me through the first 17 years of my life Got Raised up with tears running on my cheeks for the famous breathtaking "you had me in hello" scene in Tom Cruz masterpiece "jerry McGuire" unaware of the Muslims killed everyday in cold blood all around the globe . Hundred copies of love songs made me believe that romance was the only goal I should live for spending the nights on the rhymes of "celine dion" and "linkin park" leaving the heavy responsibility of our Islamic world agony we are supposed to struggle for for other heroes like "Rachel Corrie" instead of joining them in such a noble cause . A Dull view of our religion made me think being a Muslim is all about doing my prayers in time and fasting the holy month and that's it I just can't be a better man.

And Then out of the blue a totally different world got delivered to my existence a different type of beliefs ,thoughts ,dreams ,goals and even men . For the first time I tasted the true meaning of sacrifice for something bigger than my needs or wishes. Our religion in a new concept never heard before so vast and hopeful that made me regret all the past years of my life I was blind about . Yeah the "Islamic Brotherhood" of Egypt offered me a noble project with a unique prize, the heaven I mean by seeking a better future for my country struggling against corruptibility and fascism Simply by introducing me to the truth of "Islam".

But despite all what I've said above from time to time memories from the fake reality I was living in wake up again inside me! Missing the ecstasy of being wasted! like all these years refused to let me go without a print on my troubled soul...a curse that has to be fulfilled...or in other words...to keep me Living with a deformity.